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| So there goes another year, seemingly MUCH quicker than I expected it would have. Wasn't a very exciting year, if I could put it that way, because only a few things changed dramatically over its duration.
I don't really felt like I've changed all that much - nothing 'revolutionary', just 'evolutionary' - in other words, the personality traits I had before are there, perhaps more pronounced and exaggerated this year than they were last year. I'm definitely more cynical, more sarcastic, less sympathetic than last year. I guess it's a bad thing... kinda =\
I stay up later at night when I do stay up, and I tend to stay up very late VERY often, pulling all nighters for absolutely no reason other than not wanting to get up or because YouTube Related Videos has me in one of the most sophisticated traps invented this side of the Renaissance. The fact that I spent the last hours of 2009 awake with a throat infection, and the first few hours of 2010 in bed on the computer does not bode well with me ...
I've re-discovered the importance of having a fallback to go to when things are look bad with one group. As much as I'd hate to admit it, I don't think 邊個邊個有限公司 is going to last much longer, or at least I don't think I will be able to stick around much longer without expressing my utter distaste/dissatisfaction with some people involved =( The more I feel like this is the case, the more I spend time with the group I neglected during my first year and a half in uni. It feels good to be able to shit-talk when I want to, to who I want, without causing a commotion and confrontation, it's like I can really be myself again and not have to hold back.
I was made half aware of the importance of family, or more accurately how empty it actually feels when you realise the ones who raised you for nearly 20 years are going to be gone some day and they'll never EVER come back. I know I don't show my concern at all most of the time, I don't mean to do it on purpose... I'm just naturally bad at showing concern, I panic, I clam up when people show concern for me, and quite honestly, I don't think this will change a lot in the future, so if I come off as particularly cold sometimes, I apologise in advance, but it actually means I care... maybe a LOT. It is probably also this same trait that makes me distance myself from people I care about, so I can 'test' if they notice that I'm not talking to them. I guess it was also my greatest downfall this year using this 'test' - I have reason to believe I wrecked a friendship of over 4 years by doing this, because it made me find out how little the other person cared... hmmm "GG I'M BAD" sums it up quite well.
Academically, I think I performed as expected this year as a whole. I guesstimated my marks before finals, and got within 1 or 2 from them in pretty much every subject. ACCT 2A - estimated 65, got 67 FINS2624 - estimated Low-Mid D, got 75 FINS3616 - estimated 60, got 58 =(( LEGT1711 - estimated 60 or under, got 61 =)
FINS2622 - before midsem marks, was expecting 80, dropped to 65 due to my APPALLING mark, ended up getting 69 FINS3630 - expecting 80 before finals, walked in, fell asleep, walked out, ended up with 74.. FK GENS8200 - this one PISSES ME OFF SO MUCH, was expecting/wanting an HD to pull up my WAM, turns out BADS were in my group for group assignment and dragged down my mark to JUST 65. Rage
This year, I'm wanting D averages for both years to finish off my degree on a high =) or open some doors in regards to Honours in Financial Economics depending on what happens, I don't really want to join the workforce permanently just yet, I feel like I've barely experienced uni life at all in fact =\
On the topic of New Years Resolutions, I don't really have anything in mind, though of course ^ that last paragraph counts as one I guess. So... 2) Sleep earlier, with more regular sleep patterns, and less all nighters 3) Spend less on gadgets, save more for first new car =) 4) Be bothered to do things more often. CBF has killed so many opportunities this year, I don't know why I still do it -.-
... Looks quite impossible already... what am I getting myself into
Things I'm looking forward to in the morning: 1) Rainie's new album. IN YOUR EYES THX? 2) Hearing what other people did last night xD 3) Contemplating cleaning my room... which I WILL get to doing, it needs its semesterly clean BAD
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| 竟然到了這個地步了,我應該努力嘗試真正放得下的感覺嘛。 每一次都是我後悔,我失望,為甚麼不能是其他人後悔呢? 真的很累很累喔...這樣下去是真的不會有好下場的... 是我幼稚,還是全世界真的有要折磨我的意思嗎? | | |
| Scared or Scarred?
...
Both??
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| ISTJs are often called inspectors. They have a keen sense of right and wrong, especially in their area of interest and/or responsibility. They are noted for devotion to duty. Punctuality is a watchword of the ISTJ. The secretary, clerk, or business(wo)man by whom others set their clocks is likely to be an ISTJ. As do other Introverted Thinkers, ISTJs often give the initial impression of being aloof and perhaps somewhat cold. Effusive expression of emotional warmth is not something that ISTJs do without considerable energy loss. ISTJs are most at home with "just the facts, Ma'am." They seem to perform at highest efficiency when employing a step-by-step approach. Once a new procedure has proven itself (i.e., has been shown "to work,") the ISTJ can be depended upon to carry it through, even at the expense of their own health. ISTJs are easily frustrated by the inconsistencies of others, especially when the second parties don't keep their commitments. But they usually keep their feelings to themselves unless they are asked. And when asked, they don't mince words. Truth wins out over tact. The grim determination of the ISTJ vindicates itself in officiation of sports events, judiciary functions, or an other situation which requires making tough calls and sticking to them. His SJ orientation draws the ISTJ into the service of established institutions. Home, social clubs, government, schools, the military, churches -- these are the bastions of the SJ. "We've always done it this way" is often reason enough for many ISTJs. Threats to time-honored traditions or established organizations (e.g., a "run" on the bank) are the undoing of SJs, and are to be fought at all costs.
Introverted Sensing Si is oriented toward the world of forms, essences, generics. Time is such a form, a quantifiable essense of exactitude, the standard to which external events are held. For both of the IS_J types, the sense of propriety comes from the clear definition of these internal forms. An apple "should" have certain qualities, against which all apples are evaluated. A "proper" chair has four legs, (and other qualities this poor INTP can only guess). Jung viewed introverted sensing as something of an oxymoron, in that the natural direction of senses is outward toward the object, rather than inward and away from it. One has the sense that Introverted Sensors are drawn more to the measure of the concept of the perceived object than to the experience of that perception. Extraverted Thinking The moderation of the Te function serves to socialize the expression of these forms. When the Si function is ready to relinquish the data, Te may speak. Otherwise, silence is golden. ISTJs seem to have a few favorite forms (the tried and true) which may serve for most occasions. My ISTJ dad woke me every morning with the same phrase for more years than I care to remember. Asked, "How are you?" he answered with the same stock phrase. ("As well as my age and habits will permit" was used for about two decades.) "It's a good form, a sound form--it's the form for me." Introverted Feeling Since Fi is turned inward, it is rarely expressed. Perhaps this enables the ISTJ to resolutely accept that "we are all doomed." When told that Lazarus had died, Thomas said, "Let us go and die with him." (He could just as well have said something like, "I knew this was bound to happen sooner or later.") Only in times of great distress is the Introverted Feeling expressed (as I witnessed in my dad when a neighbor's son was killed in a hunting accident). Otherwise, feeling is inferred, or expressed nonverbally, through eye contact, or an encouraging smile.
Extraverted iNtuition The Ne function of an ISTJ does not serve her very well. It needs a lot of help. She was surprised, for example, to find that someone she had talked with only by phone had red hair, because she "didn't usually like" people with red hair! This inferior Ne seems to be a major source of, and a natural breeding ground for, stereotypes. Failure of the banking system is but one bogeyman which arises from the fear which feeds on the ISTJ's mistrust of real world possibilities. The shadow inhabiting the inferior Ne strikes at the precious forms and standards in the heart of the dominant Si function.
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